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I agree with Tom Collins' assessment of Kyocera's ad (The Makeover Maven, May). I was nodding with each thing he criticized, almost mouthing Tom's questions before I read them. I didn't like the cutesy image either. I didn't get the connection between “making your move” and the image.
I like the revised ad. Tom hit the pain points nicely.
He mentioned a possible reason why the original ad's headline/subhead/image combo was weak and the copy was good. It might very well have been related to a copywriter/design team. However, I'm on that kind of team, and my creative director would have had issues with the same things Tom did. I think the disparity also could result from a copywriter who excels at body copy but is weak on heads, subheads and images, or perhaps a copywriter who hasn't collaborated well enough with the designer.
Anyhow, I'm glad I found Direct magazine! I really dig the Makeover Maven column.
Michael White
Copywriter
Sage Software
Lawrenceville, GA
One would think that by this point, advertising agencies would be embarrassed enough to have instituted in-house training courses for their art directors using just Tom Collins' columns to teach the lesson that clients care (or certainly should care) most about sales effectiveness.
Chip Hetzel
Tom Collins replies: Yes, one would think so. But my guess is (a) they don't realize click-response advertising is direct response and so don't bother to read Direct and never see The Makeover Maven; and (b) they just don't care and neither do their clients.
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